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[a very, very different one]

This just might be the chilliest coming of


What is it with me & forgetting to mention


shit, sonz. is it really

'bout songlyrics.

sometimes there's this "mine was better" factor to certain song lyrics: you originally hear them one way, then you stumble upon the actual written thing & they're different, and you think - my version was better.
I first saw a mentioning of it from other person on songmeanings.com I think - it was about The National's "Ada" (hoooot!), the line says "Ada I can hear the sound of your laugh through the wall", and this guy/girl thought it was "Ada I can hear the sound of your life through the wall", and was a bit dissapointed in actual lyric. I don't neccesarily agree with OP on that one, for "Ada" that second version maaaybe would be a liiitle too sentimental, but that's just me. I had a point there somewhere...
Oh, right. I had couple of those "mine was better" moments in last months, and felt a need to share with dear diary 'cos nobody would listen to me complain about it. First one was David Cook's "Life on the moon", that I thought had a "I'm here on my terms, have some faith in me, and I'll let you be who you need to be" line. Buuut it turned out to be "Here are my terms - have some faith in me, ---||---", and I realise it really makes more sence regarding the rest of song's lyrics, but I think I'll stand by my interpretation - it gives the song this sliiightly different angle that makes it perfect for me, the character being tad bit stronger and a hinch more vulnerable at the same time.
And the second "mine was better" moment goes to Mads Langer's "Beauty of the dark", which has "I dream of dreaming dreams of you but nightmares always block the view" in it. My original take on it was "I dream of dream and dreams have you". There's really not a lot of difference, basically it's a lose-lose situation: in first case the character doesn't get any u know what even in dreams, which is frustrating and fairly good for creative process, in second version he kinda does, but he has insomnia, which is even better for the song but I feel bad for the guy (not really, have u seen him? he's fine!). Anyway, I actually get it and like it both ways, it's an awesome song, I just heard it wrong and it turned out kinda nice! =))
It's actually full-blown


I also forgot to mention that there was



so, I've been thinking...

My dear Aine McFate was asking me to write down my impressions on Adam's album for awhile now, and I was really going to do just that, but then... I was listening to it on repeat and feeling... well, puppy-happy. And horny. And... normal. So I'm gonna rant about that. And about David Cook (sorry Aine!). And then finally about Adam and his awesome awesomer awesomest album. Just skip to it if u don't feel like reading my gut-spilling.
So. Part 1, about me. I don't get off on real life. I just don't. I'm underweight, clumsy, stupid (almost clinically) and lazy, which is kind of the perfect coctail to not enjoy the real world 'cos for me it's too big, moves too fast, has too many unfamiliar people who always claim something from me and it generally requires too much and too soon. I can't keep up. Couldn't since I was about 17, or at least started realising it then. And it's getting worse for me every year 'cos the older you get the more outer world requires from you, and I can only offer less. The being gay factor doesn't help to fit in either. So - no, I don't get off on real world. Instead I get off on books, movies, music - fiction, that has clear rules, finished shapes, and is perfectly safe. And, sheltered by that safety, I can do whatever, can be whatever I please, can feel whatever - so I choose strong emotions: horror movies, rock music, serious dramatic books - stuff that makes me feel involved, feel alive. My music has to be heart-ripping, has to grip me & squeeze me, make me wanna sing along full-throat or dance my ass off like a pro or serenade a stranger or IDK jump off a cliff or perform a riot FF7-style. Things like that. So I don't listen to a lot of dance music, like electropop of house or any easy-listening like lounge, because I don't get off on it, it's not strong enough, it's empty and stupid. I listen to heartfelt music, or smth I consider one. Which leads me to
Part 2, about David Cook. I'm not sure how he dug his way into this opus, but he did, so he stays. David Cook is... human. And that is his main quality as far as I'm concerned. He's not the most talented musician I've heard (pretty good though), he doesn't have the best voice (still turns me on every time I hear it), he's definitely not the prettiest (but kinda handsome) or the smartest (altough miles smarter than, say, me) guy I've witnessed, as he said himself, he's a jack of a lot, a master of none. But... and there is a butt =))... this precise guy is perfectly HUMAN. It just spills out of him with his every move, gesture, word. It feels like his every defect, every downside and disadvantage is out in the open, and so are his upsides, his strengths, his talents - like he's perfectly balanced between being an ideal man-candy and a guy-next-door in the worst sence. I don't get off on his music all that awful much (do quite enough though, oh I do baby), but I get off on him. As a real human being. Alltogether. And that IS amazing. As someone said, "believe it or not, I never wanted to blow someone this much, and I don't even like boys". This. What she said. This weird emotion/desire/impulse is rooted in that same thing - Cook being a perfect human male. Where he is, there's no shame, no being unworthy, clumsy, corky, 'cos that's all normal and we can laugh at it together or cry about it together, too. Which he does eventually btw, and is not ashamed or afraid to talk about it afterwards - like that one time that was describes an some interview, when while recording his Idol album, he got done with the toughest song, "Permanent" [which is basically a dialogue between him and his dying brother], in two takes, and then called his dad and just wept in the phone for like 10 minutes. His brother was still alive then. So, all in all, David Cook has this strange impact on me - he makes me want to be normal, and at the same time makes me feel like I'm not all that bad the way I am, screwed up. Which is really really nice of him, thank you David. But then there's
Part 3, about Adam Lambert. I'm so not gonna try to put Adam in a few sentences, 'cos if that ain't useless I don't know what is. He's, well, as sharply described by his own brother, glittery alien from planet Fierce. That he is. An incredibly energetic creature, who has the most unique mix of physical and emotional quality about him that [and it's visible even from a tv-screen, which is almost impossible] definitely gives him a healer potential. He literally is like a little portable container of vital sunshine that lits up everything around him. I'm not sure how long a human being can function like that, and can only hope he has proper guidance in such a delicate matter. But adam's a smart boy, always was, I'll bet he'll be fine. My current concern is his music. And for a good part he makes this puppy-happy brainless shallow "livin'-for-a-day" anthems, AND I FUCKING LOVE THEM. While he was on Idol, I was getting a weekly portion of Adam's presence on my comp screen, and it made me HARD 24/7. I SMILED all the time. My goddamn cheek muscles (not those, upper ones!) HURT from grinning like an idiot day and night, every second I remembered who Adam was. And now that his album's out, that feeling's back. Might not be that strong since the visual is a BIG part of his charm, but nonetheless, here it is - a pack of pure unconditional happiness right in my ears as much as I want it, and it makes me feel... out. Normal. Confident. This "I can feel Adam" feeling surprisingly has pretty much nothing to do with my fan side. It's more... religious, as far as I am from that. Adam is the closest thing I witness to be a prove of god's existence (among human beings that is), because he's simply possibly the person with a strongest bio-field I've known. He channels all kinds of awesome stuff, known together and felt as god's presence. By religious people, that is. He's a perfect vessel of pure common GOOD, and just spills through that oftenly stupid, shallow, plainly crappy music. It's Adam, it's good because Adam touched it, he maybe didn't fix it, but he shared something with it, and made it better. So, yeah, there you go, word nerd =)) Because Adam. Point.

For the album itself (YEAH CAPES!! I mean, finally!!). random order:
STRUT: possibly not as ripping-apart leaving-breathless-and-come as it could be, but for me personally it's catchy enough and it has a spine, it's own clear mood, it sets a statement. So - one of my middle-faves.
FYE: it still hasn't grown on me, honestly. For me [for you, dawg...] it's kinda... strangled, suffocated by overproduction, overdoing, as a result it's too average and anyone's-song. nothing changed since I wrote about it last.
TFM: well, it's a pre-ordered power ballad. full package - stupid cheesy lyrics, catchy simple melody, but it has Adam's beautiful beautiful voice and it's not alltogether hopeless. My guilty pleasure.
SOAKED: a Muse song sung by Adam. Not much left to say. Match made in heaven. Even though it actually is a Muse leftover, and sound exactly like it. They can do better, but Adam pulls it off the way they can't :P
SLEEPWALKER: tbh, I consider it boring. Album filler. Not much more to say. Maybe it'll grow on me eventually. It didn't yet, but with Adam anything's possible.
PICK U UP: It's one of those - I would never like it (except for the laugh breakout in the very end) if it wasn't for Adam. He just makes it... not just tolerable, but actually enjoyable! How awesome is that!
SURE FIRE WINERS: totally my new anthem! omg it's so energetic and sassy in the most awesome way, I think this one has a looong history of being a gay flag song ahead of it. I want a video for this one!!
BROKEN OPEN: normally on the other end of my musical sprectrum - just beyond the line of sobbiness I tolerate in my music. Not this time guys!!! It's so perfectly airy, close-up and unreachably distant at the same time, it's like music of the spheres, beautiful and indifferent to humans, ain't it. it's just... well. omg.
AFTERMATH: we talked about it. it's, well, just not good. I actually think it's more from Kris' zone rather than Adam's. Kris could've made something from it. or maybe not. it's just one of those "No boundaries"-like things - not for Adam? as in written for someone completely different, even he can't always beat that, and in a perfect world he wouldn't have to.
FEVER: OMG fever!!! can't you just FEEL the JOY he felt while recording it? like the pain in Cook's Permanent, this one has Adam's true emotions, it's his sassyness, his own perfectly dosed shamlessness, his confidence and love of being alive! well this one's definitely not a leftover! Lady Gaga was born for me because of this song.
MASTER PLAN: kinda odd choice for a bonus-track - there's nothing bonus about it, I honestly can't tell apart maybe 3-4 of them unless I'm hearing the part of the chourus that has song's name in it, and it's one of those.
MUSIC AGAIN: !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#$%^&*@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~~!@#$%^&*()__+_)(*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(* 'NUFF SAID.
IF I HAD YOU: one of those again, oddly appealing, it shouldn't hit me but it does. I certainly wouldn't mind it being IDK less flat-out, but it's a party-starter, and it somehow reminds of Enrique Iglesias, so I'll let it slide =)))
WHATAYA WANT FROM ME: you. just. can't. fight. this. one's. sincerity. can you? I know I can't. plus the fact it's catchy and it's second verse has some most awesome lyrics definitely doesn't hurt. it's... just a really good song, it's that simple.
A LOADED SMILE: IRDK why some people don't dig it. IDK!! maybe I like it because I also like guys like Portishead & Massive Attack, it has a trip-hop vibe, but I honestly can't understand how someone can not like it at least for some reason, the smallest bit? I personally would prefer for Adam to sing it a liiitle bit lower, but I'll take it the way it is open-armed!! LUV it.
wow, look at me all deadly on the weather!
first snow, as if to celebrate my returning to Mortine!
I sooo need winter shoes...

"...Коппола на следующей неделе запускается в Буэнос-Айресе с новым фильмом — называется «Тетро» («мрак», если словарь не врет), драма об итальянской артистической семье. Итальянскую артистическую семью играют Хавьер Бардем, артистка из «Лабиринта Фавна» и Винсент Галло..."
вот тут-то меня и сложило.

... но смерть не излечит тебя, о Даэрон!..

"Вчера в связи с Пэрис и порно у нас зачем-то упоминался Дэвид Мамет, так вот он на прошлой неделе написал в Village Voice большой программный текст про то, как наконец перестал быть bleeding heart и lily-livered liberal, т.е. демшизой. Там довольно дурацкий финал, который предлагает всем идти на водопой к офисному кулеру, но текст все равно замечательный. Там описывается, как умный человек либеральных взглядов сперва понимает, что дело не в злых корпорациях и подлом правительстве, а просто человек как таковой по своей природе — корыстное говно, потом ему начинает хотеться разбить приемник с «Эхом Москвы» (ну то есть с американским аналогом), потом он понимает, что Кеннеди был мерзавцем не лучше Буша-младшего, и так далее. Ответа, как дальше жить, у него там нет, точнее, повторюсь, там предлагается идти на водопой — но сам процесс отражен прекрасно, почитайте.

Другой вопрос, почему к Мамету это осознание пришло в 60, а ко всем моим более-менее нормальным знакомым — в 27. Но это, наверно, вопрос климата." © Р. Волобуев

фмемориз. ну, кто куда, а я на водопой хожу вот в блог кинообрзевателей Афиши и на мининову.
апд. фак. ну чо со ссылками...
как всё-таки отчаянно жаль, что я пропустила пик карьеры Руфуса. такого, каким он был на съёмках "Leonard Cohen. I'm your man".
это не значит, что я не аппришиэйт его вообще застать. по-моему, он бог. Пан.

"...he's an important man to celebrate now cos' I think those days, you know, are gone, I don't think there's gonna be another Leonard Cohen..." (Edge, U2, на тех же съёмках)
и это не только про Коэна. those days утекают сквозь пальцы прямо сейчас.
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